Advertisements and rantings

Isn't this cute?

Cottonelle. Lab Tested for Softness

I used to see this particular advert (also a lab puppy for a toilet roll commercial - what's with that huh?) and I must say, it made me want to go buy THAT toilet roll. It's silly I know but the advertising people know it sells - at least to some people. Especially when it has something to do with pets, somehow. Was telling mom if only we could get Brinkley really trained up. Perhaps we could get the extra dough to put up picket fences (so that he could run around in the garden - leash free), to get a small wading pool for him to play in, a carrier (to bring him kai kai) and maybe a companion? *haha* Fat chance.

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I don't know how my parents could just...not think of the other party when they decide something. They made an impromptu decision to go to Penang just yesterday (because dad have to be in Singapore next week, can't go then - which was the actual date that they have planned to go to Penang). Mom wanted to go there either by train or bus because it's tiring to drive all the way up there (have a strong feeling mom's gonna be the driver all the way there and back), the car has an oil leak that has not been fixed (pretty dangerous to travel long distance) and maybe it would cost slightly more to drive up. But NOOOOO...dad insisted that they drive up - ignoring the fact there is only one stupid car in the house and hello? I have to go to work? Mom pointed this out to him and he just went, "Ask Sally to send her lah!"

*grrrrr*

I don't get it. How can you just expect other people to be at your disposal at any time you want? Even if they don't feel anything, I feel so pai seh that I have to trouble my aunt to SEND me to work and take me back. As if chauffeuring her 3 kids around (they still have holiday activities) is not a headache already. AGH!!!!!!!!!!!!! Someone either just kill my sense of "thinking for others" or just give me a car. Or scooter. Please. Feels so uncomfortable okay! Not to mention that already it sounds like a super big joke that my mom has to send me to work and back...now my aunt?! GAH!!! *runs around the room and bangs head on the wall*

I never really feel comfortable asking for people for help unless I'm really desperate. I hate this place! STUPID S2! Bah! I'd rather be back in RJ (minus the silly neighbour on the right) - at least if I don't have a car, I can still take the bus. Stupid neighbourhood. No public transportation. Don't even suggest a taxi because in Seremban, the taxis don't run on the electrical meter - they run on the driver's emotional meter. Bleh. *rant rant rant*

Perhaps

Perhaps my "electrical jinx" is over? I did not only receive my Zire this week but I also got a call today to inform me that my digicam is fixed! I can go collect it at any time! *dances around*

I've never been a gadget geek or pro, okay. I'm pretty shallow when it comes to gadgets - whatever looks nice and doesn't burn too big a hole in my pocket, I take it. I'm the classic example of an electrical airhead. I got the Zire71 because I didn't have a digicam then - it served as a PDA and a digicam. Unfortunately, one of the problems faced by this model is that if the camera is frequently used (the sliding mechanism), it may disrupt the connection for hotsync to be performed on the PDA (or so I read - remember, I'm not an electrical-gadgety person, I use terms which I think fit the description).
Then came Zire72 - at one point I wanted to go trade in the 71 for it but thank goodness for KVPUG. I hear comments from users saying that Zire71 is actually in some ways better than the Zire72! Eck! And of course, being me, the main thing would be cosmetic/superficial - the paint of the Zire72 comes off easily. Apparently the screen and camera is not as good as the 71 either. *twiddles thumbs*

THEN...I read this and went "Oooooo!" I'm now thinking of changing my PDA to that. One thing I know about myself, I like taking pictures - for no reason. If I were to keep the Zire71, my warranty would not last me enough repairs for it if the wire problem thingy is true. The Zire72's camera is not hidden like the Zire71 - less problem in hotsync-ing then? GAH! Don't know-lah. Macamlah banyak duit to burn. Bleh! I should concentrate more on saving money to buy a property. *haha*

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Don't know if you could see the little fella on the door but there's suppose to be a little fella on the door. *haha* It's a frog, it does not leap but flies! Whoosh! Perhaps he had on his webby feet, frog's version of Nike Air? I'm not making much sense and it's okay because it's past my bed time.

Blur...

Am so blur like the fella there --->
Well, I don't like working the "afternoon shift" because I never get "extra" time for doing other stuffs. My own fault because I tend to sleep in instead of waking up early to make use of the time before work starts. Bleh!
DHL called at 6.57am! Luckily I didn't hear the phone ring. Lucky for the guy if not I'd be so cheesed. *hehe* It's good news! I'm getting my Zire back! *dances around*

New expensive interest

*kaaaa-chiiing!*

I wanted to make my own photo albums for the trips to Spain and Italy. Normal albums just don't cut it because I have tickets, tabs and what nots that I wanted to include into the album, too. I found out quite a few important things from Hazel - we've got to get acid free supplies, especially if we want to keep it for a long time as acid free materials won't yellow/fade as time passes. Apparently they (Hazel, Cammy and a few others in church) couldn't find acid free materials here and they order their materials through the internet - all the way from US! It's costly to ship little by little so they usually buy in bulk (get a few person's orders and order enough to make a few scrapbooks). It would also mean that it would burn a big hole in your pocket/wallet each time you hit the "shop" button.

Since there's always shipment coming back to Malaysia from US, maybe I could "save" a little by having materials sent to mom then ask her to include it into the container. Don't know if they have free shipment if it's above a certain value and within US. Browsing through the website that Hazel gave me (the website they always order from) made me all excited! I want to get started as soon as I can. Yet...I open my wallet and see dust flying out of it. *sigh*

Expensive "hobby" but try to have a look at it, their scrapbooks look really good! Really professional!

Incredible indeed!

I shall not comment much except that it's a movie (or cartoon? Whatever-lah) that I want to watch again. Experiencing Monday blues so not that enthusiastic to write. Don't want to write about The Incredibles because "everyone else did" - in one way or another, short or elaborate.

Keat
Su Ann - Nov 14th entry
Andrew
Cheng Leong

Is my brain growing?

Bah! Silly title but somehow the massive headache felt like as if something was growing and pushing my cranium! Maybe I should go for a scan. It's been on-going for quite sometime. Maybe it should be "reclassified" as a migraine since I find that bright lights seem to trigger the pain and the fact that today's pain was so bad I wanted to hurl. Maybe it's the restless sleep. Maybe it's the lack of food in the morning. I don't know but it was really bad. Couldn't move my head, couldn't concentrate on anything. I could feel heat radiating from my head - at some point I thought I had a fever. Now at 2.00am, I feel better - after lying down, sleeping like a corpse (dead straight, not moving) for a few good hours. *bliss*
Maybe it's the too many nights of staring into the computer screen.

Could you be such a dear?

Pray that I would get the car that I want soon. Preferably tomorrow. Next week would do, too. I'm not that fussy, am I? I just want that car. The back seats could be folded flat for me to fit in a carrier. Then I could bring Brinkley to dog events in KL.
It's pretty inconvenient for my mom to send me to work and pick me thereafter. This would also mean that I can't go to KL for any impromptu dinners with friends. This would mean Jo would have to pick me for CGs and church (I don't want her to find me troublesome and it just won't do when I have to serve on a certain week and she doesn't - who to send me to church earlier?). Basically it's just inconvenient. Silly that mom sends me to work and takes me back - when even during my school days she doesn't do that. I had to take the bus! Please pray for me. Please pray for a miracle. Thank you very much. I appreciate the prayers and I love you for taking the time to do so.

Ugh!

*sigh* It's back to work tomorrow. Back-to-work blues. It's not too bad considering I only need to work for 3 days. Don't think I did anything productive during this long break. Then again, I did put up the photos and what nots on this site. I guess that counts for something?
Oh yea! I finished the ironing. *phew!* And I cleared out my room. Too bad don't have any form of camera at the moment! I'm so proud of my neat room. *ahem* I bet you it'll only last for a week - maximum. Well, looks like not all my time went to waste. *beams*

Things updated on this site :
1. she
2. him
3. dog
4. we - birthdays, outings, miscellaneous
5. they

I hope it'll be a busy day tomorrow - since we've been closed for 3 days. At least it won't be too boring. Happy working again, people!

My bestfriend

I dedicate this following entry to LC. Nope, it's not her birthday. She's not getting married either, let alone being pregnant with her first child (*haha* Am sure it'll be mentioned here if this blog could be kept up till then). I'm just thankful that she was placed in my life. *beams*

We met in Standard Six - didn't have much of a choice since we were classmates. During those days, she was only known as "Hon". (Note: My school memory is actually quite vague at some point, so bear with me.) I still have goofy pictures of her, pictures where I made her pose for those usual end-of-year photo shots. I didn't know that we were "neighbours" till Form 1(?). I guess you could say our friendship was nurtured in bus rides - from school bus to the public buses which runs through Rasah Jaya. The ride from town to Rasah Jaya takes about 15 minutes by car but with the bus it takes about an hour(!). If we took the bus that takes the Rahang/Blossom route, we get a little more time allowance to gossip or have heart-to-heart talks. Ah! Those were the days.
She is someone I cherish because we've been through the good, the bad and the ugly. Literally. It's the best "relationship" one could ever ask for. *wink*

I've said this before and I shall say it again. Friendship is also a relationship that needs maintenance, communication and love. It could die off if you don't make effort to keep it alive. I actually worry about whether a day would come that I have no conversation topic with LC. It's actually quite scary.

Ever since my first "relationship" with the opposite gender, I discovered an important fact - a fact that magazine did mention (but you wouldn't really learn it till it happens to you). The fact that you shouldn't push your friends aside once you get a boyfriend and then run back to them, expect them to fuss all over you when things don't work out. You can't hit the "pause" button on a friendship and then when you feel like it (or when you have nothing else better to do), push the "play" button again to continue the friendship. It doesn't work that way. I'm really glad that I had (and still have) good friends that stuck with me through thick and thin (cheesy but no other better way to say it) - that were a bit pissed off with my attitude but still forgave me. That was when I learnt that I have to have a balance between my relationship with the guy and with my girlfriends. If I ever forget, it won't be long before I get a cup of Coke poured over me by LC. *hehe*

So here is to friendship!

There is still hope...

...that I need not sit and rot at home, staring at the computer screen on a Saturday night. Well, I was supposed to go for dinner somewhere with someone but it just didn't work out - as always. What's new? LC called me just now to tell me that a good few people are around (Kahtai, Keat, Surt and maybe some others) for a good yam cha session. It's been a while...

I bought these new shoes (not so new anymore now!) on 14th October when I went on my mad shopping spree. It's really comfortable and I got a 5% discount although there was no sale. Just because the schweet SA asked, "Do you have a Jusco card?" *tee hee!*

Bummer...

Everyone's out and about having fun while I am stuck-rot at home. Oh joy.

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It isn't as if I would not allow it. I just don't understand why you find it hard to just tell me the truth. As if now it's a whole lot better that I found it out on my own rather than you being frank with me. I hate lies and ironically I am constantly getting them from you. Bah! What's the whole point of this? It's useless. No amount of reminders/nagging/repetitions would ever get this through to your thick skull. And people wonder why I'm a suspicious person - when everything is not like what people tell you, how to not be?

And I thought it was going to be a snap...

A snap from the sound of my stiff neck more likely.

To think it's all so simple and grey it would be easy peasy. *pftt!* Not. I'm very backdated. I do everything from scratch. Thus this is the result of my long day's work. My eyes are puffed, I know not the meaning of hunger and I literally survived on caffeine today.
At least I got my archives back!! Don't know where on earth they went to. Was pretty frustrated because I couldn't figure out how Blogger works but now am satisfied they are back in the right place. *phew!* Been archive-less for the past 9 months(?). And tag-board is back again - not like it's much in use anyway.

Even if I could still go on, I'd better give my baby a rest. Don't want her to fry up just because of my blog site.

New Discovery, Old Revelation

I found out a dear cousin of mine has a blog. *hee!*

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Would you rather be alone but happy or be in a relationship holding a bucket for the expected tears? I think anyone who's in the right mind would prefer the former.

What happens when your hands are inevitably strapped on the the bucket and you can't let go? You try to shake it off but the straps are just too tight around your hands/wrists.

How would you know when is "enough"? You try to be the perfect partner and yet they don't realise it. Whenever they are unhappy, it's okay for them to sulk. If so happen you are also unhappy when they are facing something bad...tough for you then. You are the one expected to take it all in and be the strong one. You are not allowed to sulk or ask for comfort. Whenever you feel like they have done something wrong, somehow it ends up sounding like you are the one at fault. Like it is wrong to be upset/angry/unhappy/unsettled.

Why is it so unfair? Is this the downside for thinking too much for others?

Everything feels so wrong.

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I can get really upset if I actually stop caring and just let it all go. I tell you something. I may sound like a freak or like I'm making a big fuss but this is what I did.
I was really sick of being in an emotional roller coaster. If it makes any difference, I dislike roller coasters. There I was, all bottled up...everything that came, one after another...I kept it in. It's like continuously putting air into a balloon and when the rubber can't stretch anymore, it bursts. I was upset, a lot of things running through my head.

I had leftover cake. I was cutting it but it didn't turn out nice. It was in crumbles. The cake was on the dry side, thus the crumbling. I tried to cut another piece. More crumbles. The third somehow just ticked me off and I started butchering the cake...I used my hands to smash it all up. I was just so so so so upset and I don't even know why (okay, I know why but I like to be in denial. *tsk tsk*). After mashing the whole thing up, I started to cry. I also felt guilty for letting the cake all go the waste.

I'm so sick of this pretence that everything's okay. I have it all in here *points to heart* and yet I can't say it. I have no one to turn to. No one in real life. Sad isn't it? I feel like I'm never allowed to be upset. To scream, to shout, to throw things. When is it my turn?

Everyone has the potential to run amok. The deciding factor is whether you have control over it or not, whether you want to let it go or not.

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Maybe I just need time away from him but more of Him. Not like he cares anyway. That's how I feel. At least I know He cares, for sure. Not doubt about it. The problem is that I'm only human. My weakness is that I need a tangible person to be here for me.

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I am not compatible with electronics. Palm has been sent off for repair and digicam waiting to be sent off for repair. Bleh!!!

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Happy Deepavali!!!

Note to self

1. No walking around naked in the house.
2. No using the loo/taking a shower without closing doors.
3. No running around semi-naked looking for clean clothes.
4. No sleeping on the couch.
5. No leaving the TV on the whole night while munching chocolates.
6. No leaving plates to pile up in the sink challenging Mt Everest.
7. No leaving clothes un-ironed all over the house.
8. No leaving bags here, there and everywhere.
9. No using the car without permission.
10. No leaving loads of shoes in the car.

Yeap. The parents are back.

I was sleeping...

...and someone came into my room and played around with my computer that I now don't know what's happened to it. *hehe* Keep seeing search links on random words in every website I go to. Anyway to un-do it? And why on earth do I keep getting a blank page everytime every page is fully loaded? I see the process of this banner coming up, this title coming up, this picture coming up, these words coming up...but when the status bar comes to a "Done" message, a complete blank. Why? Help please.

I zonked out at about 8pm or so, I think. Woke up at 8.30am. Went back to la la land again and woke up for good at 11am. I've never been attacked so badly with headaches before. Don't know what's the matter. Maybe it's time to go for a scan.

Parents coming back on Monday. Loads of nagging ahead. No doubt about it. Especially with the "bachelorette condition" of the house. Hmmph.

So many things to do, so little time. Such a familiar phrase.

For the record...



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Edited 4.34pm
Did I mention I'm having a loooooong break for Deepavali + Raya? Well, so happen I memang don't work on Fridays and I work on alternate Saturdays. I'm working this Saturday so that makes next Saturday a holiday for me. Deepavali falls on 11th, a Thursday. First and second day of Raya fall on Sunday and Monday. Since Sunday the pharmacy memang don't open for business, that makes Tuesday a holiday to ganti the Sunday's holiday-on-top-of-no-work day. *hehe* Am I making sense? Well basically, I will not have to work starting on Thursdays (11th) right up till Tuesday (16th). I will resume normal working hours on Wednesday. *hee hee!*
Then again, parents will be back by that time. Even with so much time on hand, won't have transportation to go rayau-rayau. DARN!!!

The horror : Long break trapped at home with parents' nagging! Oh no!

I sound like such an ungrateful brat, no? Well...I am. *hah!*

This year we have no house to go to for Deepavali. Padmaan is unavailable (that's the only house available to us SKLs) so no muruku and sugee biscuits and mutton. I guess I will just have to prepare for "the horror"! *hee!*

Snip Sip

I went for a haircut yesterday. Was thinking/deciding about it when I was at work - still thought about it when I was driving back home. The weather was miserable! Didn't feel like going anywhere but the want to do something different, to have something different is stronger than that "crawl under covers and sleep" feeling. So I did.



Turned out pretty okay - so far. (Purposely took this picture in a way my face is not so visible because I'm all pimpled out! bleh!)It may not be like this when the bad hair days step in. I never have much problem with my hair when it was of the same length...only when it's layered, there may be a problem. *prays not!*

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Met up with Anson's mom on Tuesday night for dinner. She made roast chicken. Yum! *hehe* It's been a while since I had home cooked food. So for all those people who have it everyday out there, cherish it. *sigh* She gave me the tea bags I requested for.



It is really nothing special, one of those commercial tea bags they have in the UK. I just wanted it because it reminds me of the days studying in Glasgow. I was drinking so much tea! I just fell in love with the teabag-milk-sugar thing. Back here mom always make it with condensed milk, y'see. So I've got teabags now to last me a year! *hehe* Maybe less...

Can anyone explain this?

While I sat and waited for my mee goreng, I observed this guy sitting beside me (or rather, me sitting beside him since he was there first) eating.

Could anyone please tell me why I feel sad when I see him eating?!

For all you know, he's quite happy eating alone but for me, I see it as isolation from everyone else. I don't know why. Maybe it's a personal fear? I see him eating (he's horizontally challenged) and I felt sad. Why? I transferred myself into his shoes. Eating alone, the chair not comfortable enough for my butt...just stuffing my face. Is it my hormones? I can't really explain how I feel or why I feel like that. It's a mixture of sadness with pity? I feel like slapping myself because it shows that I'm shallow, no? I think that he's isolated because of his physique. I would feel afraid for him, too...with the "packaged" problems for someone who's overweight/obese. Heart attack, diabetes, high cholesterol, etc.

Maybe it's the hormones sometimes. During my pre-menstrual days, I would feel all bloated. I would feel so disgusted at myself for the flab that overlaps out from my jeans/skirt...I get quite angry at it and at times would start punching it in vain hope that it'll get smaller. I feel so ugly, out of place. It's the worst time to buy clothes, ever! I would look to food for comfort during that time but thereafter I would feel like puking because I feel guilty for stuffing my face with rubbish/junk food.

Coming back to my initial query. Why do I feel pity/sadness when I see overweight people eating by themselves? I sometimes even imagine korkor sitting out, eating alone. Feels so sad to be all alone. Then again, sometimes I remind myself that I like to be alone, go out alone and eating alone, too! Maybe people would feel the same for me? Maybe it's the state of being alone for too long.

Can anyone explain to me why am I feeling like this?

A new beginning perhaps?

I've not set up the pages for the navigation bar, although the links are there. So don't go clicking around. You'd only end up with "The page cannot be found".

I wanted to put it up by today, November 1st. So tadaaa! At least I've shifted my blog over there. I've left out quite some things. Left out links for the archives, photos and also a space for the tagboard. Hmmm...will get it done tomorrow maybe?

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11 hours tomorrow! Or rather, later. *sigh* So sleepy now. *yawn* I got my registration certificate last Friday, thought of going out earlier to get the licence application form tomorrow...uhm, I mean later on. At this rate, I'd be lucky enough to wake up in time for work, let alone to wake up earlier to go get the forms.

Although I just got my cert, I have to pay another RM50 again to renew my annual retention number. So silly! I just forked out RM50 for this stupid registration. Bah!